Bereavement, Part the Second

I thought I’d just do a little follow up to fill in the last couple of weeks, because I don’t want my return to posting light hearted content to be totally incongruous. After addressing a few things that I just want to throw out into the internet and be done with it, I will go back to writing about largely cheerful things, like I did before. This is partly because nobody likes to read one extended whinge, but mostly because that’s what makes me happy. I always bang on about this blog being a hobby, but it really is. I was quite surprised, during my self imposed time away from the blog, to realise just how much I missed it.

Something I didn’t miss at all was social media as a whole, which I took a total break from as part of my general retreat. I also took precisely zero pictures, and only worried about it for about three seconds flat. It hasn’t been a time I’m keen to remember. I’ve also finally severed the cord and deleted my Facebook account, which was harder than I thought it would be – not because I couldn’t bring myself to do it, but because Facebook actually make it really complicated. No, I don’t want to deactivate my account. That’s not the same thing. I want it all gone.

While we’re on the topic of Facebook, can I just mention the hoops you have to jump through to delete the profile of someone who has passed away? If you thought it was hard enough to delete your own profile….. I had to send a copy of the death certificate, as well as provide the exact date of death and various other details. That’s genuinely the only way to do it. Sending off that level of detail to the faceless Facebook honestly gave me chills. I don’t want them to know exactly how, when and why my Dad died. I just want his data deleted. Is that too much to ask?

However, under the general topic of Difficult Things I’ve Had To Do Over The Past Two Weeks, that was a relatively minor event. I won’t go into the rest, because it’s just too sad (and I said I wouldn’t whinge). What I will say is that if you have ever lost a parent, what’s left of my heart goes out to you. I had no idea it would be this hard. Not a clue. Not least because I wouldn’t let myself imagine the prospect of this ever happening to me; it was too terrible to even contemplate. Although I’m a grown adult of 29, I still feel like an anchor has snapped, and I am that much more vulnerable to the currents and tides that buffet me daily.

Alright, let’s move on to more cheerful topics, just like I promised you at the top.

For those following my holiday booking crisis…. Well. God, the universe and all the fates were obviously trying to tell me something because if I’d have gone on that holiday, I wouldn’t have been in the country when my Daddy passed away. I knew there was a reason I just couldn’t make it happen, considering it was so unlike me. There was also a chance I’d have been in Finland for work that week, but I got bumped from the project at the last minute. All of these things I’m eternally grateful for.

Instead, we managed to book something for the beginning of October. Let’s revel in small joys here – I’m pleased to announce I’ll be off to Croatia in two short weeks. Hurrah! Our relaxing holiday will happen, albeit under slightly altered circumstances.

While also on positive topics, thank you again to those who took the time to say sorry, or hold my family in their thoughts. It means a tremendous amount.And now, normal service will be resumed…

-Rachel

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18 Comments

    • 21st September 2015 / 20:50

      Thank you Ashley!

    • 21st September 2015 / 20:50

      Thank you xx

  1. 3rd September 2015 / 20:27

    Thinking of you Rachel.

    • 21st September 2015 / 20:51

      Thanks Aisling 🙂

  2. 10th September 2015 / 04:52

    I am so sorry Rachel. Take care of yourself.

    • 21st September 2015 / 20:51

      Thank you – luckily I’ve been very well looked after 🙂

  3. 21st September 2015 / 18:53

    i can’t believe that about facebook. and that’s so weird about the holiday, the universe was definitely trying to tell you stay put.

    • 22nd September 2015 / 10:43

      Yeah… feeling very glad about quitting facebook now! And isn’t it funny how these things work out? I’m so SO glad I listened, and stayed put!

  4. 21st September 2015 / 21:52

    I seriously can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now! Just thinking about you, and hoping that things will start to get a little bit better!

    • 22nd September 2015 / 10:43

      Thank you! I appreciate that a lot. Things are beginning to get better, I think 🙂

  5. 22nd September 2015 / 14:37

    So sorry to hear about your loss, thinking of you. I am really glad that your holidays didn’t work out so you got to say goodbye x

    • 28th September 2015 / 13:48

      Thank you so much. I never thought I’d be so thankful for a holiday not working out! xx

  6. Kelly Michelle
    25th September 2015 / 22:09

    Oh Rachel, I’m just catching up on some blog reading. Sending you big big big cuddles! xx

    • 28th September 2015 / 13:48

      Thank you, definitely needed!! xx

  7. Kelly Michelle
    25th September 2015 / 22:13

    The fates were definitely telling you not to go away so you could spend time with your dad.
    I hope you enjoy Croatia, it’s one of my favourites and where my grandfather was born xx

    • 28th September 2015 / 13:49

      They were, weren’t they?! It’s strange to look back and everything suddenly makes sense. I can’t wait for Croatia, I’ll give it a wave for you!

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